Dear Francis, after some years of seeking my true nature, at the beginning of september I had a very clear glimpse of what I am. Suddenly it was clear that I’m awareness, I am knowing-presence. Before this realization I was convinced of being the knowing-presence, but I was still waiting for some kind of confirmation. I was waiting to “perceive” this knowing-presence that I am to be sure of being that!! Suddenly it was clear what now sounds really obvious: I cannot perceive the knowing-presence that I am, because I AM THAT. Everything I can perceive cannot be the knowing-presence that I am. So now the feeling is that I’m the presence in which everything is present. I’m the no-thing in which every-thing appears. The search for my true nature has dramatically reduced, because now it is clear that I’m that in which the search itself is happening, but there is still the feeling that something is missing. There is still a sense of separation between what I am (knowing-presence) and what is perceived by what I am. I’m no-thing perceiving every-thing, but there is not the feeling of being every-thing. I’d really appreciate your point of view on this situation. What has to happen for the knowing-presence that I am to recognize itself as everything? Thank you very much!! Marco.
You have taken an important first step discovering that you cannot perceive as an object the presence which you are. However, this doesn’t mean you cannot know it or experience it at all. In fact, you already have some experience of it since you “know” somehow that you are consciousness.
The first next step is to see clearly that since everything you know and will ever know appears in this presence, and only in this presence, there is not and there won’t ever be any evidence, on any level, that this presence is limited in any shape or form. When this understanding is complete (which may take some time for it to affect all your belief systems and permeate all the cells of your body), you will find yourself in a state of total unknowing about what you are, not knowing that you are a human being or a universal being, a finite or an infinite awareness, an ignorant or a sage.
You will be completely open, on all levels, to all possibilities, innocent and empty of all knowledge. You will be Meister Eckhart’s “poor man”, knowing nothing, owning nothing, wanting nothing.
In one instant, a single flash of eternity, your true love will recognize itself, in this innocence, in this emptiness, in this Presence.
This will be the end of your sense of lack, of your misery, and you will discover that your misery was only the sweet figure of Grace showing you the path to the Kingdom.